Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize