His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
