Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There r osticjed everywhere
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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