Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
