haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
