remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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