i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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