do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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