Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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