Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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