bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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