You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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