don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
