I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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