The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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