What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you didnt know i had herpes?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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