remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
