you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
