i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That was before I lit my hair on fire
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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