When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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