can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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