flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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