We're facebook friends in real life
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you had me at cake vodka
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
