my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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