I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
