Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
