I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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