NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
