Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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