Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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