is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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