when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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