I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
