I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
