you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
