i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
