But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
