I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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