Whod you bang
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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