Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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