I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
