Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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