i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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