can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My cat gives me a boner
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
