There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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