he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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