exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
