i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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