I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
