You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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