Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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