Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
