I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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