Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
