Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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