Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
