She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have post one night stand depression
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
