ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
