wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
