Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
