I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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